I Was Wrong
by I'mtheAlphahearmeRoar
Summary: In the season 4 finale, what if the Berserker hurt Stiles instead.


_**This came to me at the end of the season finale but it took me ages to actually gain the courage to write it. I hope it's not too terrible.**_

_**(Oh, yeah, and Malia doesn't exist in this)**_

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><p>When Braeden parks the van outside of the church, Derek's prepared for everything and anything. He knows how sadistic Kate is, knows that most of her schemes are strategic and just evil-completely-whacked-out-of-proportion. No doubt, Scott's in a lot of trouble in there. Derek's ready to help, to save, to get back at least a little of what was stolen from him (he wishes he could get everything back but life was never said to be fair).<p>

"Who's going out there first?" Liam asks.

Derek can't hear Liam's heartbeat but he can guess that it's hammering against the bones of his ribcage. The kid's terrified. Derek doesn't blame him. He's newly bitten and still trying to control the shift without the aide of others. To be out here where danger is supposedly around every corner, along with the lack of certainty that his Alpha is going to be coming out of this alive, would make his 15 year old self feel the exact same way.

"I'll go, you two stay here with Braeden." It's only fit that he goes first. Liam is vulnerable, what with having not been trained for situations such as this one. Stiles… Stiles is too precious to be put out there first. The risk of him getting killed is high and Derek won't let that happen. Not on his life.

"No. No way." Two hands grip his shoulder, pulling him back. He looks up and catches the set of determination in tawny brown eyes. "I'll go first. You need to stay in here to protect Liam."

"You can't go out there, you're human," Liam blurts.

Stiles glares at him. "So is Derek right now." Derek raises both eyebrows. Stiles rolls his eyes. "Look, I'm not saying he's weaker than me and I should go because I stand a better chance out there but…"

"But nothing, you're staying here," Derek growls. He stands up and moves forward to open the door. He sees a flash of limbs and pale skin before he's being pushed back onto the bench, falling backwards. "Stile—!" he yells as he watches the teenager slam the door open. He doesn't finish because no sooner as Stiles opens it, a Berserker is grabbing him and throwing him outside, the door slamming shut again in retaliation from the force.

Derek leaps up, ripping the door open and jumping out, shoes skidding against the ground in his haste. He hears contorted cries of pain and his stomach drops when he sees the Berserker throwing Stiles around like he's nothing but a rag doll, not letting up even as the human stumbles and collapses with every blow. He's about to run in and intervene until bullets flying past his head distract him. He turns around to see Braeden firing round after round at the hulking creature, reloading quickly. But, to Derek's horror, it's not enough to stop the Berseker stabbing its bone-knife through Stiles' stomach, the sharp blade coming back out with blood dripping from the tip.

Stiles goes down almost too wordlessly as soon as the knife's sliced into his flesh, feet crumpling underneath him. Derek's not aware of anything but the blood rushing in his ears as he runs to the boy and falls to the ground on his knees beside him.

"Stiles," he chokes, afraid to touch, afraid to even _breathe_ as he stares down at the broken, bleeding body before him.

Peter and Liam are suddenly behind them, looking on, shocked to silence. Stiles coughs, eyes slanting over to meet Liam's gaze. "G-Go. Save him. _Please_."

Liam nods, his eyes glassy, as he bolts to the church. Peter follows, but not without a slow understanding nod to Stiles. Stiles nods back, hissing under his breath as he listlessly watches Peter leave. Derek wishes he could take his pain, hands trembling with the knowledge that he _can't_, that he's _useless._

"You're not… u-useless," Stiles gasps. Derek didn't know he'd been saying that all out loud. He hesitates a glance, sees Stiles smile, cringes because he feels that he doesn't deserve it, _knows_ he doesn't deserve a smile from such a flawless human being. A human being who's now dying because he didn't act fast enough to stop it.

"If I wasn't you wouldn't be hurt," he murmurs softly. He's never been able to stop people he loves from getting hurt, what made him think Stiles would be different from the rest?

"H—Hey, hey," Stiles whispers, grasping Derek's hand in his weak grip. "Don't say that. You're—you're perfect."

Derek's stuck between sobbing or laughing. What he makes is a combination of both. "I know you must not get this often, but you're wrong," he says, shaking his head.

Stiles chuckles, groaning and clutching his side. "A-Always right." His grip tightens momentarily on Derek's hand and Derek swallows, eyes burning. "Bu' s-still am, Der. 'C—Cause I know you are p-perfect." He closes his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows as he breathes deeply through his nose. "Just don't g-get why you can't see it."

"I'm really not. I'm the farthest thing from perfect," he exclaims sourly. How Stiles can say that astounds him. No one's called him perfect before and even if they did he wouldn't have believed them. But with Stiles… it's somehow… not the same.

"G-Guess we see distance d-di-differently," Stiles jokes. Derek doesn't have the energy in him to laugh, shoulders shaking. "A-Are you cryin'?" Stiles' eyes are open, his pupils dilating in then out again. Derek's not a genius in health but he's sure that that's not good.

"No. But can't promise I won't," he replies weakly. Stiles frowns and it wrinkles his whole face.

"D-Don't, not over me," he snaps, closing his eyes again. "Na' des-deserving of that."

Derek rears back, stunned from that statement. Now it's his turn to slap some sense into Stiles.

"You are. I don't understand how you can't see that," he says roughly, clutching desperately at Stiles' hand, trying to ignore how it's limp in his grasp now. "You're the one who's perfect Stiles. You are always there for the people you care about. Every time, no matter what. You put your life on the line for others without a second thought. You—you still put up with me, even though you don't like me." He whispers the last part, closing his eyes as the hurt and rejection is bitter on his tongue.

"I do—I do like you, Derek. I… I love you. Th-Thought you k-knew…"

Derek's eyes blink open in shock. Stiles is staring at him, eyelids drooping and lips parted as he pants silently, 5 seconds between each. He hasn't got long. He_ needs_… He needs to tell him.

"I-I do too, I love you, Stiles," he stammers out, voice strangled. He's been trying desperately to contain the urge to hold Stiles because moving him would be fatal to the time he has left, but… he knows it won't matter now. Stiles is barely alive, probably won't make the next minute, and he can't let him die knowing he wasn't wrapped up in his arms.

As he lifts Stiles into his lap the boy muffles a whimper. It's torture for Derek to hear but he just can't let Stiles slip away without the comfort of someone cradling him protectively, close to their heart. He deserves to die feeling safe, secure and held tight.

"Not s-such a S-Sour—wolf an-anymore, S-Snuggle-lovey wolf," Stiles murmurs gently, gazing up at Derek in awe, brown eyes dull, nearly lifeless, but still powerful.

"Never," Derek sniffles, trying to grin. He fails as he feels a tear brush his cheek, sliding down to drop and cling onto Stiles' upper lip. Stiles licks at it, eyelids fluttering half-closed.

"Don't le'go, 'kay? Wanna f-feel you when I—" His words slowly fall silent, soft sigh exhaling from his lips as his eyes drift shut completely. His body slumps in Derek's embrace, chest rising then falling still. Not moving again.

Every last word shatters a little piece of Derek's heart.

"I was wrong," he whispers into the night, Braeden's war cries and the battle-fire all around him non-existent in the background, only the beautiful angel who'd just passed away in his arms. "You're not perfect, Stiles… You're—you're more than that. So much more." He swipes his thumb over the small crease between Stiles' eyebrows that hadn't flattened out, traces the curves of the boy's cheekbones as he finally, for the first time in years, lets himself cry.

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><p><em><strong>I believe that Stiles dying is what made Derek evolve. Also he manages to actually kill Kate in this.<strong>_

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><p>(Extras) Backstory:<p>

I see Scott and all of the pack bury Stiles next to his mother, the words printed on the gravestone reading something like _He Never Knew It, But He Was Always Our Batman._

I see Derek bringing black roses to the grave once every week (black to symbolise Batman, of course, but also in grievance as a reminder of how dark and bleak his life without Stiles is), sleeping next to the grave through the night in wolf form, guarding the resting place of his beautiful angel that had fallen far too soon.

I see Scott and Kira visiting with their daughter, Scott telling her stories about the human boy who ran with wolves, the boy who was his brother and the boy who, in the end, became Batman instead of Robin, not just the side kick anymore but the hero.

I see Melissa supporting the Sheriff and making sure he eats healthy, the two of them visiting Stiles' grave together, hand in hand.

I see Lydia becoming a mathematic genius and winning a fields medal, announcing her winners' speech to the hall full of graduates about the generous, self-sacrificing, amazing boy who fell in love with her in third grade and never stopped loving her all through middle school and the first few years of high school, how he believed in her that she would win a "noble prize" for mathematics, and the reason she's standing here today would not have been made possible if a part of it weren't for his faith and confidence in her abilities.

I see Isaac coming back to place a scarf over the grave, saying that he still wears them even when it's hot outside, that he misses Stiles dissing his scarves and just maybe if he puts one here Stiles will turn in his grave.

I see Liam visiting the grave and telling Stiles all about his life now as a werewolf and how he still uses the mantra that Stiles helped him re-gain his control with that day.

I see Danny coming to the grave with Ethan, both of them telling the story of how they met up again at NYU and have been together since, Danny finally admitting that yes, he does think Stiles is attractive to gay guys.

I even see Jackson coming back from London once to visit Stiles' grave, apologising for the way he treated him and that he hopes Stiles is happy up there with Erica, Boyd, Allison and his mother.


End file.
